It’s here! The “Unstick Your Mind” Mimika TV has finally arrived. Our first episode of the new season has landed.
Have you ever been in the midst of an exceptionally hot Summer and longed for a brisk breeze or the first Winter snow?
When that Winter snow arrives … and overstays it’s welcome, have you found yourself marking off the calendar days until you can pack away the snow shovel and pull out your flip flops?
It’s normal for us to be present in one season and long for another.
Both physically, and spiritually.
It’s common to be in one season of your spiritual journey, become weary in that season, and desire to be in another season as though that longed for season will somehow bring contentment.
The truth is that contentment does not come from hopping from one season to the next.
Contentment comes only when you intentionally align yourself with the will of God IN the season where He placed you for this moment and this time.
You may not be in the exact season you want to be in.
You may feel uncomfortable.
You may even feel stuck.
Rest assured, God has you present in the season you are in “for such a time as this.”
I’m sure Jonah wasn’t comfortable in the belly of the whale, yet it was instrumental for both Jonah and a whole civilization of people that Jonah experienced that season.
Had he not walked in that season, he would have literally gone in the opposite direction of where God wanted him to go, and he would NOT have accomplished the mission God gave him to accomplish.
Today, you are in the right place, the right time, and the right season. Everything you are experiencing in this season can and WILL lead you further in the right direction of God’s plan for your life.
Just as the coldness of Winter precedes the beauty of Spring … this season must precede the next so that something great can be produced.
Ask yourself a few questions each time you find yourself feeling uncomfortable and stuck in a season.
Why did God create me?
What is God’s purpose for my life?
How can what I am experiencing right now help me and others in the future?
These questions will help you shift your mindset, and that mindset shift can change the way you think to help you see God does have a plan for your life … and the season you are walking in is instrumental in that plan.
Once you realize and embrace the plan God has for your life … and the seasons that fall within that plan, you will be able to walk in God’s will and find pace and joy in every season.
Make sure to subscribe and to follow our Podcast show on YouTube, and rate and review us on all podcast audio platforms like iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play.
As a Mindset Coach I’m here to help you shift your thinking and unlock your full potential! If you’re needing support, encouragement, and accountability; consider joining my group coaching program Unstick Your Mind.
Listen in and be inspired.
Welcome to the Unstick Your Mind Podcast on Mimika TV. Get ready to get unstuck, align with your true purpose and unlock your God given potential.
Been quite an interesting journey. I actually did a post yesterday on Facebook dating myself. And of course, the kids insert eye roll because they always think my husband and I are so ridiculous. But we met 30 years ago. So we have been together and dating as a couple for 30 years, and married for 25. And I tell you, it made me think back what this life brings. When we’re so focused on the now, we forget where we’ve come from. And I went through some of those old photos, ’80s hairstyle. And you just look at that.
And this is something I feel is really appropriate. We get so caught up in the now and the drama of today, we never really look back and think, okay, what has God done in my life? Did God plant something in you, this desire, vision of the future? And everyone thinks great. Why would you want to do that? But when you have a vision and God plants something in you, he doesn’t let you off the hook very easily. And no matter what, you can try to deny it, you can try shove yourself in and throw yourself into something else. But it always comes back to remind you that there’s something that was planted, that was in you that’s for a greater purpose. Even when your family thinks you’re a little crazy, and being able to pursue that even against the odds can sometimes seem when people don’t have the vision.
So for me, I’ve always been very visionary. I like to think of it as playing mental chess, like 3, 4, 5 steps ahead. Sometimes I get a little ahead of myself and I’m like, “Okay, God, we should go here. And I’ve got the GPS coordinates. And I think we should take a detour over here because this kind of place looks nice.” And he is like, “Who’s driving?” I am the worst back seat seat driver because I’m always wanting to control, and want to know where everything is. So of course, when life throws you lemonades and you end up in a situation where you’re out of control, that’s when you start to realize who you are and what God’s made you to be.
Because I had those roots of rejection from a young child, I was always pursuing accolades and achievements. I always wanted to prove that I was smart to everybody. Because being bullied when you are younger kind of really affects your self identity and your self concept. And unfortunately, emotions don’t have an expiry date. And if we don’t deal with them and get them out by the roots, they just keep perpetuating. So through life I’d gone through this process of always throwing myself headstrong. My drug of choice is being a workaholic and always throwing myself into things until I burn out. My husband says I have two gears, full blast at a hundred miles an hour or full stop. There’s nothing in between. So he knows when I’ve got myself really ferociously focused on something. He’s like, “Uh-oh, when’s the crash and burn coming?”
So of course, I’ve had to learn this the hard way. But throughout the process, you kind of get to learn that some things don’t serve you. So I’d realize very soon that coming from a root of rejection, always trying to be a people pleaser, a perfectionist, anybody out there. I gave up my membership to control freaks anonymous. And since I have, I can tell you, I am so much happier and at peace. But those years spent in control freaks committees and trying to make plans for ourselves and trying to push yourself beyond, and working in that, what I call the hustle and grind instead of God’s grace, can really cost us. It can cost us our peace. It can cost us our mental health. It can cost us our physical health, our relationships. It can cost us money because we are wasting energy on things we shouldn’t, and it can cost us time that we can never get back.
It’s so important to really get on the same page as where God wants to take you. Yeah, we can veer off. And that’s fine, God can bring us back. But I really think coming out of the year that we’ve all had, that was 2020, the hindsight that’s given us is that we really need to be plugged into what God has for us. We can’t be playing games anymore. The time of messing around and staying in fear and allowing the anxiety to hold us back from taking the steps of faith that we know we are destined to. I really think we are at this stage now of crossing over to that promised land. But it does take a little bit of work. That’s what people are not aware of. They kind of think, just going to pray. God’s going to make it all better. And it’ll be like a giant eraser, and we’ll be good.
And he’s like, doesn’t kind of work that way. There are some of the things that you need to do. Because here’s something I’d realize, God’s a gentleman. He’s never going to push you. He is going to wait for you to raise your hand and ask for help. Patiently wait until either you burn yourself out or you say, “I need something. I cannot do this myself.” And then he’s like, “Good. Now we can get to work.” Oftentimes we fight the fire. We fight the refining and we look back and we go, “I don’t want to be here. Get me out of here.” And he’s like, “Not yet. We’re not done yet.” It’s coming back to that vision. We have to remember that if God’s planted us that vision, there’s no guarantee that it’s going to be easy.
I spent a lot of time wasting in fighting and being in disobedience and sort of going against what I felt I wanted to do because I thought I knew better. And then eventually I’d realized, in life, the way God works, it’s not like school where you get the lesson, then the test. And with God, we get the test and then the lesson. Sometimes we have to take the test a couple of times because we don’t get it the first time, which is fine. God, in his graciousness, will allow us to do that. But I’m like, okay, let’s move on. Let’s progress. Let’s move past what’s keeping me stuck so I can kind of get that momentum and start moving and getting on the path and on the road to where I’m meant to go.
Well, this is the thing I really feel is important where we are now and why. I’m known as the personal trainer for your brain, because I’m going to start giving you some things to think about. And you’re going to really have to put some effort into this because so many of us get stuck. And we hear, even from the church, I think tells us, “It’s so sad. You’ve been through something bad. That’s who you are. That’s your label.” Like, medical science and whatever wants to give us a label of oh, it’s your anxiety. Oh, it’s your depression. Oh, it’s this, and stick a label on you. But the problem with that is it keeps people stuck.
They’ve done tests and actually showed the history of medical diagnoses was only meant to be for professionals to know how to treat people, was never meant to be in the general populist to know what disorders were and what they meant. Because what happens when somebody puts a label or restriction on you? You feel like you can never grow. Your identity gets messed up in what this diagnosis or this label. So in my case people would say, “Oh, well you’re so bossy. You’re so talkative.” Whatever they want to call you, especially kids can be mean. And fortunately, as adults, we carry that through. Or maybe a parent, as life goes, our seasons change and our assignments change. We can’t get stuck in an old season. Maybe that’s what you were in the past, but God is all about the new.
People say, “Oh, I can’t wait for it to go back to the way it was.” Let me give you a big wake up call. Things are never going to go back to the way they were. We have to be able to let go and move on because God is always the God of the new. He’s not going to put old wine into old wine skins. Now let me give you a real understanding. We hear this from the church, but we are like, what [inaudible 00:07:35] does that mean? Back in the day, when they made wine, they didn’t have these fancy little bottles we have now. They used to use animal skins. And the way that they treated them, the alcohol content was so high that if you put new wine that was still fermenting into an old wine skin, it would break. And really, what that correlates to today is that if you, yourself, temple of God, your mind, your body, your soul is an old wine skin living in the past. God wants to pour the new in you, but he knows he can’t give you what your heart’s desire is because you’re not ready or because you aren’t ready to exchange the old for the new.
Now the new does come with a caveat too. It comes with a little bit of stretching. You have to allow yourself expansion. You cannot be in comfort anymore because when you are getting into new territories or new environments, of course, there’s going to be stretching out of your comfort zone. And people have got, may I say, lazy? We get lazy with life. We don’t want to move out of our comfort zone because it feels uncomfortable. But let me tell you, it’s not your fault because it’s that primitive part of your brain that is part of, tiny little pieces in the back of your head that always wants to keep you in comfort. Our brains are wired to avoid discomfort. So if you can just know that every decision, every emotion, every thought, and every feeling you have, that primitive part of your brain, if you think about it, is like a little two year old toddler. It likes to have a hissy fit. And if we allow a two year old to manage our life, can you imagine what that would look like? I don’t know any adults who actually allow that.
So we have to take that maturity. We have to make the choice first. Because, remember, God gives us choice. He’s never going to override our free will, which is why he doesn’t come in and just save the day. That’s not how he works. This isn’t a superhero Marvel movie. He wants us to ask for help. He wants us to say, “God, I need you. And he needs your permission in order to have you healed and restored. But we often get it mixed up and think, well, I’ve been told I’m this. So this is what I am. Or I am my anxiety or my depression.
I’m like, why do we want to own that? Why do you want to own the label of depression? That is actually a spirit. Just imagine yourself in the spirit world. Every time someone has said something mean, that kind of threw rocks at you, or there was some kind of false identity that you took on, whether somebody told you you’re stupid or you’re mean, or whatever, you keep putting those on as extra layers of clothes with these pockets, and you keep holding onto all these rocks. You don’t look very effective, and you can’t run the race when you are weighed down by old rocks, by old whatever. We have the choice to be able to throw those things off and say no more. I don’t agree with those. Whatever words were spoken over me are broken. I don’t agree with that.
And that’s how we get freedom in the spirit, is that we allow the enemy into our life. We allow the enemy into our camp because we haven’t put up our walls, we haven’t put up our defenses and we haven’t declared our authority. As believers, God has given us the authority to trample on demons, snakes, whatever. And we often hear that in the Bible. Oh, that’s cute. No, it’s not so cute. What it actually means is that if you understand your identity in Christ and you understand that you are the superhero in the movie, he’s already given you the sword. He’s already given you the shield. He’s really given you the power. You just need to wield it.
And so many of us have laid down our weapons, have forgotten who we are, or don’t even know yet our identity in Christ. Once you realize you are royal and you have authority. If you think of the army, I’ve never been in the army. But what I’ve learned about it is that you have sort of rank, you have to prove yourself in order to get a higher ranking, in order to become a general from being a staff Sergeant. And that takes a little bit of effort and actually a lot of pain, and sometimes a lot of time. But most of us in the fight in living in this world don’t want to put in the time, don’t want to go through the pain, don’t want to go push through what’s hard because we’ve become so conditioned to think everything’s got to feel good. I don’t feel like this today. I don’t feel motivated. I don’t feel like going to gym. I’m waiting to feel motivated to do anything.
Let me tell you something. You’re never going to feel motivated. You’re never going to feel confident. Confidence, motivation comes from choice. You got to choose to decide to take up your authority. You’ve got to choose to decide to step forward. You’ve got to choose to decide to do the work that’s required. And then you can earn the stripes in order to break bigger ground. So those who are maybe listening today and thinking, well, you don’t understand. I’ve been through so much. Yeah, I’ve been through a lot too, but I realized I wasn’t going to let the devil walk all over me. I realized very quickly.
And also, in fact, one of the books I’ve written is called Worrier to Warrior: A Mother’s Journey from Fear to Faith, which is actually my personal testimony, I wrote in 2018, of a journey that the Lord took me through. And I can tell you why I’m so fiercely ferocious about these things now, is because I had to go through the fire. Let me tell you a little story. So in 2016, I was on this trajectory. I wanted to do this. I’ve always been in business. I had my own marketing consulting business. And roundabout February 2016, I was at a speaking convention. And for a while there had been some signs that one of our kids was really struggling at school. And we had psychiatrists and mental health and educational testing. But as a parent, when you see a child that’s struggling, I’m a fixer. I try to do everything that I possibly can.
But eventually what happened is, February 2016, I was away. My husband was with our child, and he says something is seriously wrong. And you know, as a parent, that sick feeling in your stomach. What has happened? And I just knew that this was the dam wall about to break. So by the time I got back, my child was so depressed, suicidal, couldn’t get him out of bed. He just wouldn’t eat. He was losing weight. We intervened as much as we could. And then six weeks later, my mother-in-law passed away from cancer. So she really planted in me that the faith about how sharing our stories is important for others.
So of course you can imagine my shock and horror when she passed away, after all that prayer and all the words of encouragement and expecting healing because she had actually prayed for people who’d had cancer, who were healed. She passed away from cancer. So I had a complete crisis of faith. I was like, “God, I don’t know where you are. I’m super angry with you. I don’t know what do you think you’re doing. But this isn’t funny. How can you allow this to happen?” And not just that, the way she suffered. She actually had a brain tumor that then went and metastasized in her spine. So they radiated her spine, and she lost the use of her legs, so she became paralyzed the last year of her life. And she was in so much pain.
Just to see her suffer like that. I mean, talk about all the sort of emotions of feeling angry and seeing someone you love, who’s hurting and in pain and you can’t do anything about it, while at the same time dealing with a child in crisis, while at the same time racking up thousands of dollars of debt in my business, trying to keep my business afloat. So when that happened, business failure, child in crisis and loss of my mother-in-law, I literally hit burnout. I was physically and emotionally so sick. I was so emotional, I couldn’t even hold a conversation. My mom and my sister live in England, and they tried phoning me. And I’d text them and say, “I’m sorry. I can’t talk. I literally have to text you. Otherwise, I’m just crying all the time.”
And for someone who’s usually very positive, I’ve never experienced depression and anxiety and grief like that before, where physically, my body, I felt ill. I couldn’t get out of bed. I lived in my pajamas. I just let things go in the house. And my husband was like, what do we do now? And bless his heart, he stepped in and really helped a lot. But these things happen in life. And sometimes they break us. They break us to where we physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally cannot take it anymore. But when we get to the edge of the cliff and we take a step off, we realize that’s when God can do the greatest miracle. Once I was able to let go of my control freak, on trying to be in the driver’s seat of my own life and realize and say, “God, I cannot do this anymore.” He’s like, “Now we can do something. Now things can actually change.” Then I could take my sticky fingers off the steering wheel.
And of course, I don’t advise that you wait until everything falls apart like that. But oftentimes, there are signs. God is patient. He gives us opportunities. And sometimes we need a neon sign that smacks us in the face and says, it’s time to change. But if you learn anything from my story, it’s really a waste of time and energy to fight the process. This is the new normal. How did our grandparents survive after the world war? Nobody could sit around and have a pity party and feel sorry for themselves. It’s time for us to pick ourselves up off the floor and realize, yes, it’s been bad. Whatever we’ve been through, there is always something that is better that’s coming around the corner.
But it’s important for us. And we have a choice today. You can either be a victim and continue to stay in self pity and feel sorry for yourself and go around the mountain. Or you can choose to be a victor and say, “I’m not going to take this. No. I will pick myself up. I will use the tools that God has given me. And I’m going to take action.” Because that’s the bottom line, is you decide and you take action. But it doesn’t come with big gestures. Sometimes it’s something small. Sometimes it’s something really tiny that you need to do. And what’s great about that is God is so patient that he wants us to take the steps so we can build our confidence. And then we start to get moving.
Okay, well, this isn’t something that happens overnight. But the first thing is awareness. The fact that they’re aware is a huge win. When you get to that stage, because you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. So if you are listening to this today, and you’re like, I need help. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m sick and tired making excuses. I’m tired of the status quo. I want to change. Congratulate yourself because that is part of the win, is understanding you need to change.
Second of all, is that you need to take some kind of action. Now, often people say, I’m waiting for God to show me the writing on the wall and some neon sign. No. What was the last thing that God asked you to do? And it could be tiny. It could be like, I want you to go for a walk in the mornings. I want you to unpack the dishwasher. I want you to phone your mother. I want you to write that email. I want you to buy that book. I want you to listen to this podcast. Sometimes it’s super simple.
And I can tell you, my job now as a mindset coach is I help people overcome those blockages and getting them unstuck by helping them reassess where they are, knowing that we know you want to change, and then also visioning for the future, because sometimes I think we lose our hope. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Physically, we do get sick. When we’ve been in hope deferred and disappointment for so long, really, our hearts get hard and we get bitter and eventually can get to anger and hatred, which is not a good place to be. But what we can do, while we have the opportunity, we can make the choices today. No one can make the choice for you. And no magic pill or magic wand is going to come and do it. It really comes down to taking action and making a choice.
So really, it’s starting with baby steps. What can you do today? And also from a physiological perspective, our brain needs closure. So what I mean by that is, I talk about this with my clients. When you start something, if you ever watch Netflix, if you wondered why you get hooked on Netflix and you keep watching the next season is because it’s the open and closed loop format they use when they write these programs. Now, in marketing, we use this as well. What this means is, they open the loop with a question or some kind of what if. And your brain is constantly searching for an answer. It needs conclusion.
But if you know, in their magicness, if you’ve ever noticed that they’ll conclude a storyline, but before the next episode starts, they open the next loop to keep you hooked for the next week. That is on purpose. That’s what the news does to us too, constantly hitting the part of our brain that seeks dopamine. So if you think whenever you hear something new for the first time, like someone shares a secret, or you hear the news, that hit of dopamine. That’s why computer games or scrolling on social media, those little hits we get. That’s actually a hormonal hit in our brain that goes, ooh, I need that I need that.
If we have too much of that, our brains just get overloaded. Then what happens with our brains when it’s overloaded? It starts to shut down and then it starts to get depressed and it starts to get anxious. And it’s, my anxiety. I’m like, “No, honey. Put the phone down.” Sometimes it’s that simple. And God is a God of simplicity too. He likes order. Not going to make something complicated for you. He will meet you exactly where you’re at.
So talking about the loop, we need to allow ourselves to close the loop. So if you have got, I’m a person who loves lists, okay. And the way that I feel like I’ve accomplished something is by having a completion of that task. And sometimes it’s super small. But women, especially, we tend to have lots of lists and we keep adding to them. So we never have that feeling of completion. So my challenge to you, if you’re listening today, is what is one or two, or maybe a maximum of three things that you can do this week to complete, to feel that sense of accomplishment? Because we are so tuned into focusing on what we are not achieving. We’re forgetting to celebrate the small wins. And our brain needs that in order to know that there’s closure.
If you think about why do we have weddings? Why do we have graduations? Why do we have birthday parties? Because we need a way to celebrate the beginning or the end and the beginning of something else. Because back in the day, when we’d read stories, it was once upon a time. And then, the end. Now in modern society, there is no, the end. It rolls and rolls and rolls. So if we really are mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically taxed, we are constantly under this pressure to keep up and to keep up. And it’s the next thing, and it’s the next thing. And oftentimes we spiritualize things that are just plain simple, common sense.
Well, if you are scrolling on your phone, watching what everyone is doing on Instagram and all of a sudden you’re feeling a little bad, then you try to go to sleep and your brain is worried. And then you can’t fall asleep. And then you’re tired. And then you wake up the next morning, you can barely drag yourself out of bed. And then you’re like, oh, it’s my depression. Oh, it’s my anxiety. Honey, you need more sleep. Sometimes it’s that simple. I would often have these big, deep conversations, thinking, oh, what is the spiritual app? There’s some root that’s going on. Yes, sometimes. But often, God would say, “Go take a nap. Are you taking better care of yourself?” God’s given you your temple. How are you honoring that?
And sometimes we want to pop a pill. We want to put a label. And we want a quick fix for things that are sometimes very simply just doing the work. If we are feeling overwhelmed, it’s just to do one thing at a time. Your brain sees the open loop. We can then close the loop. And then in between the loops, we celebrate. We actually celebrate and say, I achieved it. You allow yourself to sit in that feeling of completion, allow your brain to see that settling. Okay, that’s done. Then I can move on. So then you have the focus and you have the energy knowing that you’ve actually completed something.
And here’s a very good example. I have been trying to clean up. My eldest moved to Spain for a study abroad program. And I cleaned out a room. But there have been these six bags that have been sitting on my landing by my stairs, driving me crazy for the last few weeks. Because every time I walk up the stairs, I’m like, oh, I got to go take that to the Goodwill. I got to go throw that at the trash. But every time I’d be like, oh, I’m too busy to do it today. And I didn’t realize the amount of anxiety it was creating in me. Physical clutter creates mental clutter, because I added it to my to-do list. So the other day I was like, I am done with this. So I threw the bags in the back of the trunk, drove all the way there. Came back. And I was like, oh. The feeling, the physical feeling of the weight taken off my shoulders, because I no longer had to put that in my mental filing cabinet of another to-do.
So the best thing we can do is start to unload the things that are meant to be done. And oftentimes, God will show us. And he’ll highlight things, but sometimes we either procrastinate, because we don’t want to do it, and we just let things go. And I can tell you, the biggest piece that we can get, no matter what. I have this saying, I made a meme out of it is, “Waiting for the chaos to calm is never going to happen. You need to find calm within the chaos.” Because there are things we cannot control, the world, the society, the weather, other people’s thoughts and behaviors. The sooner we realize that we just need to find that place where we can find that completion, where we can find that calm, the sooner we realize that we can do anything. And you realize, I can do hard things. It doesn’t matter what gets thrown at me. I can do it because I have that resilience. I have the mindset to know that no matter what comes at me, I can run that race.
And that’s really the encouragement of the Christian faith, it’s just to keep walking the race. This is my favorite. You going to love this. It’s called my triple D strategy. No, honey, I’m not talking about your bra size. Let me tell you, the triple D strategy is so effective for productivity. So if you’ve got a piece of paper, get one out, and a pen. And I want you to make three columns. So column A, column B and column C. So the first column we are going to do is going to be called your Ditch. D for ditch. Okay? The middle column is going to be the delegate pile. And the third column is going to be the D the do. So ditch, delegate and do.
Now, the reason why we need to do this is because we need to compartmentalize this in order to reduce stress on our brain. So the first thing we want to do is we want to look at that to-do list. And we need to have a real come to Jesus moment and say, this thing that I want to do, is it something that I really, really need to do, like learn Spanish in the next year? Honey, you’ve got other things to do. Seriously, let’s put that in the ditch pile. It doesn’t mean it never ever gets done, but it’s not urgent and it’s not important. And this should be your biggest pile, because I can guarantee you, you probably added things on there that don’t actually need to be there.
So then we move on to the delegate pile. Now the delegate is that, I’m sure there’s somebody else who can do what this needs to be done cheaper, quicker, faster. Maybe it’s 70% to 80% as well as you. So, my perfectionists out there, I hope you’re listening. Done is better than perfect. If someone can do it at 80%, it can take it off your plate, your brain can then relax and release that space to work on the things which is in your third pile, called the do. Now the do pile should be your shortest out of all the lists. And these are tasks that only you can do based on your skills, your abilities, your talent. No one else can do these. The teenager can fold and do her own laundry. And the 10 year old cannot drive herself to school. So there are some things that we have to understand where we’re at.
But if you could put those in the ditch, delegate and do, it’ll give you so much more peace about what to focus on, because then you realize the do pile is really where you need to focus your energy. If you’ve heard of the Pareto Principle, the 80/20 rule, spend 80% of our time on 20% of the tasks, because those 20% actually bring in 80% of our results. So basically, we even like saying maybe 33%, because we’ve got three piles. I’m not that great with math. But let’s just, 33.33, whatever. The do pile should really be the things that you spend your energy and your time and your mental capacity on that are going to bring you those results.
And in the business, when I coach business entrepreneurs as well, it’s the same approach. What are those things that only you can do that are actually going to make you money or going to buy you your own time back? So for instance, the delegate, one of the most favorite things I ever did is I hired a house cleaner. Ain’t nobody got time to spend six hours a day or six hours a week on a Saturday cleaning. I will rather work an extra hour, make a little bit more money and pay for someone to clean my house. Because yeah, she might not clean it exactly the way I want to, goodbye control freak, but it gets done. She only comes twice a month, but after she leaves, I do a little happy dance. I’m like, yay. Why did I take so long to do this?
And these are the things that we can really realize and get that productivity back. And we can release the overwhelm. We can release that anxiety. We can say no more, I’m taking control back of my life. I’ve got the choices. I’ve got the freedom. We live in the society, especially for those of us living in first world countries like the USA, we live in freedom that we often take for granted and we end up complaining because we don’t realize actually what we have.
So my challenge for you, for those listening is, no matter what the world has thrown at us, no matter what the social media and the news, please stay off the news. It’s so bad for your brain. It constantly keeps your brain wired in negativity. It’s not that bad. We are actually getting better. We are growing. We’re getting stronger. We’ve got new developments. So many people I know now have either changed jobs or have started a business or pivoted and changed things more in line with who they are instead of just feeling like they’re in the rat race. The rat race has been canceled. Yay. Who would’ve thought? Finally have permission to be able to be ourselves.
And I’m sure God’s up there going, “Well, finally they get it.” There’s always something good that’ll come out. Like, for me, I have seen a tremendous surge in entrepreneurship. I’ve seen families come together, parents spending more time with their kids at home. I also had to go through the home schooling thing with my 10 year old. Believe me, that was a challenge. But it really made me value my time and understand what she’s learning. Always something good that’s going to come of it, as long as we can shift our mindset to stop focusing on the negative.
Because here’s another brain principle for you, is the confirmation bias, if you’ve ever heard of that. When you are looking for something, you see more of it. If you decide you want to buy a car, and all of a sudden you want to get a new Toyota, a red Toyota, you never noticed them before until you’ve made the decision that you’re buying a red Toyota. Then all of a sudden. Or you’re pregnant, and all of a sudden you notice all the pregnant women. Same thing works in negative. If you are looking and searching for things to back up your view on life, I have family members who shall not be named who keep sending you these negative things. And they keep finding the information because the confirmation bias keeps them locked into confirming their biased viewpoint on only what they believe. And they do not want to look at things with an open mind to see both sides.
And this is where politics and marriage and things break down. Everybody wants to have their view. And they think that their view is truth, and their view is the only truth. But let me tell you, that isn’t the only truth. That’s your truth. But might not be mine. But we can agree to disagree. I am going to be open enough to see both sides. But most people will start confirming the bias. Have you ever heard of someone who says, “Oh, nothing ever goes right for me. I’m always in the accidents. I never get this. And I never that. And I always have this.” And negative, negative Nancy. She keeps complaining and things just keep happening because the confirmation bias kicks in. And all she’s focused on is the negative that’s happened in her life. She creates more of the negative.
So if you know of a negative Nancy who keeps complaining, maybe you should challenge her and say, “Have you considered the alternative? Maybe just start looking for the positive.” And this is even in neuroscience, they’ve discovered that you can tell I’m a neuroscience geek. Gratitude is actually very important for your brain, good for your spirit. Because what it does, it refocuses your bias to whatever it’s been looking at. And it starts to realize when you can be grateful and count the good things, your brain starts to look for more good things. And then you start to confirm more good things. And then you start to feel more good. You see where I’m going with this? It’s pretty much not rocket science. But we get stuck and we get sucked in and blinded by the news, the media, the social media, the friends, the negative Nancys. We allow ourselves to be pulled into to the direction.
We have to realize, we have the choice to say, “Today, I’m drawing a line in the sand.” If you want to take a note in your diary, make a note today that today is a new day and the best gift that God ever gave us besides Jesus, of course, was free will. He will never override our free will, which is why he doesn’t come in to save and blast all the nasties off the world. He is waiting for us. We’re the heroes. We’re the ones who have to step up to the calling. I like writing these posts, and I always say, your calling and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to step up, take authority with what you’ve been given, and to work out what God has destined for you. But you’ve got to be brave enough to do the hard things.
My official title is a mindset performance coach for high achieving female leaders. And I use a faith driven approach. So we talk about Jesus and we talk about the Bible, and we talk about inner healing and how the brain works. And I actually have a signature coaching program called Unstick Your Mind. So if you’re feeling a little stuck, this is something I invite you to join me. We have a group of wonderful ladies where we support each other, we learn together and I help use my skills as a brain certified coach and a neuroscience geek to help you hack your brain in order to help you to take those actions so you can get unstuck and to really start moving. Because that’s a lot of the things, the way people are right now, is what do I do next? This feeling of being stuck is like there’s no momentum. So what we need to do, we need to start taking those little steps.
Are you ready to change your brain to change your life? Discover how to break limiting beliefs, stop self sabotage and unlock your full potential by rewiring your brain using neuroscience, coaching and faith-based principles. Come and join my coaching program, Unstick Your Mind, today.