Did you know that your mindset is the driver of your life? We are all born with a purpose to serve something greater than ourselves, to help others, and to make a difference.
If you fixate on what everyone else is doing, you will slow down your progress, or get stuck in a ditch of despair.
The key to progress is to focus on your own path and to go at your own speed. The good news is that if you keep moving forward with momentum, you will eventually reach your destination.
Mindset is the Driver
I have a saying that says business problems are personal problems in disguise. If you haven’t dealt with the junk in your trunk from your past, you’re eventually gonna wear yourself down. Either you will get stuck on the side of the road or crash and burn. Hopefully, today we can help you avoid that with these tools and actionable tips, and offer aha moments you can avoid.
I’ve been an entrepreneur at heart since I was a child. My dad was an entrepreneur my whole life. They had a business working from home. To me, that is all I knew was how you do life. Always hustle, hustle, hustle. It was a construction business, so our house was a train station of people going in and out. That is the lifestyle and the environment that I was raised in as a child, and it was second nature. Thinking that high pressured, high-paced life is the way to do life. Because we don’t know what we don’t know. Especially when we are kids, we establish this thought process of what the truth is through modelled behaviour.
We get challenged and we grow and we learn things, but I always say I was a perfect storm brewing. The thing is I’m one of those who will admit, recovering a perfectionist and a people pleaser. I want to do all the things and have my fingers in all the pies. And you can tell, I talk at a hundred miles an hour. I only have two gears: full blast or full stop.
Well, eventually I realized it was unsustainable. This pace, this living in adrenaline, this go, go, go. The rat race, running from one thing to another, never stopping to breathe. In the moment, it feels great to be producing when you’re busy and you’re doing stuff. And adrenaline is like your body’s own numbing agent. You don’t realize the damage it’s doing while you’re doing it. Because everything feels good at the moment and you think you can do everything. But eventually, it will come to a point where your body is going to crash and burn. Unfortunately, it takes a little while to see the signs. I was in denial for way too long. Throughout that entire process, I never gave myself a chance to really stop and breathe. It is okay when you’re 20 years old and you can burn the midnight oil every night, but eventually something has to give.
When you get older, you realize this will not cut it. This is a danger to your health. There comes a point in our lives when we realize that the way we are living, or how are we thinking about life, is not serving us. In my case, I really hit the wall and crashed badly from the trifecta effect. I had a business launch that tanked and ended up with thousands of dollars in debt. I had a child in crisis, dealing with mental health issues, and I had to intervene. These stresses were compounded by me having to deal with things out of my control. Within about six weeks, my mother-in-law passed away from cancer. For me, it was like I had been carrying and carrying and carrying and this stress and eventually my body broke down.
Recovery after the Crash
I had a breakdown and burned out where I literally couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve never experienced that kind of physical grief where your body aches. You experience the ugly snot cry where you literally can’t hold a conversation dry heaving. It was just not pretty. What I realized is, I got to a stage where I literally couldn’t do it anymore. I’d realized I needed time to heal. I needed time to really stop and think, okay, what am I doing? So I shut my business down.
I asked the questions like, why do I think about this? How it works with God is He gives us the test and then we get the lesson, not the lesson, then the test. The thing is we will keep taking that test until we learn the lesson.
I had never really allowed myself to stop and think about what I’m thinking about. I always felt like a victim of circumstance. Like things happened to me because of the way I was raised. etc. I’m just kept believing what I felt was real as the truth. But was it actually true? There is a difference between what feels real and what is actually true. Our job is to discover the difference between what is truth and lies in this journey called life, and to decide what we choose to believe.
After that process, I realized I had to take care of myself. I took a year off from all my work responsibilities. I got some therapy and sought a coach. That year was so transformative for me.
I’d realize the most important work I could do if I wanted to help others, either avoid going through what I did or move forward, is to work on myself first. I had to ask, am I living the life I want to live? Am I Living on purpose and aligned with my God-given calling? Because I truly believe, as women of faith, that we are born for a reason and for a season and by design. If we can tap into that, and align our minds with our hearts and our intuition spirit, everything else falls in place. I think this is one of the most underrated aspects.
Whether you’re a coach, an entrepreneur, a professional, or stay-at-home mom; this is going to drive your life. It’s like being in the driver’s seat behind the wheel of your vehicle. And if your vehicle is running at half pace and you’re running out of gas, or the head gasket is about to blow, it is time to stop. Step aside and go to the garage and do a little work under the hood. Because when you can come back refreshed, you’ve reset, you can really drive the race in style. That working on your mindset is really about.
We have two parts to our brain that I like to associate with in mindset called the parent and the child. Now the child is the two-year-old who is falling apart and freaking out. She loves to throw a hissy fit in your brain when challenged. But to be the parent and to tap into parental thinking, it takes a bit of work. We don’t have to believe every thought that pops into our heads. Not everything that we think is true and we should challenge it. Just because our feelings feel like this doesn’t mean it’s the truth of the circumstance. When you get into that parental way of thinking, you feel in control.
Part of what I love to do and teach people is to this process. My signature training program is called Unstick Your Mind. I have a book coming out too. I still haven’t finished writing it, but it is on the way. It takes these concepts of what perseverance looks like. What does purpose really mean? We will dive into these different aspects of how you can adjust your way of thinking. This will help you become more resilient, so you do not get phased by the stresses of the world. How do I approach a problem and think about it logically, without giving my emotions control and allowing the two-year-old to have a fit? How can we teach ourselves and others to take their thoughts captive?
I’m really excited about sharing this content with people, it’s real-life transformative content. Because when you think about what you’re thinking about, you realize you are in more control than you know. You have more agency in your life than you think you do. The economy isn’t it. Nor is it the government or the weather, or other people. It’s your thoughts. We have to take a hundred percent responsibility for a hundred percent of our results. Then we realize that we are in the driver’s seat. We can make those choices.
There is one thing God will not mess with, and that is your free will. Why does He not come down and sort the world out? He says that is not how it works, because He wants us to choose the right path for ourselves. He wants you to choose to want to be well. He wants you to choose a different way. Because once you are aware of something, you can work on it. But when you’re in denial, the entire world passes you by and nothing changes.
Hindsight is 20/20
Having been an entrepreneur for so many new years and looking back at the business problems I experienced. Because I had stinking thinking and I wasn’t in the right state of mind, the same patterns kept showing up again and again. With a poor self-concept, it did not align me with the right thinking. I was chasing every little squirrel and every new fad thinking, “so and so made money doing that so I should do that too.” Or “I need to learn that because so and so is doing it”. It gets us into this negative space, where we are out of tune with our actual gifts. It is like you’re driving a race on a track, you don’t stay in your lane and you get so confused and so worried about what everybody else is doing, you lose focus.
Summary of why Mindset is the Driver
Whether it is driving a car or riding a horse, you will go nowhere without the right mindset. If you’re watching what everybody else is doing, it will distract you. Instead, focus on your mission, your calling, your path, your gifts, your talents, and what you are meant to do.
What I say to people is; we need to slow down to speed up. Now I know, for us go-getters out there, what does it mean to slow down? Like what is rest? But there is a method to this madness. I’ve studied a lot about the brain and how the brain works, and that we need to apply principles through practice and repetition to make new habits. To create new neural pathways and get rid of old habits, it actually takes over 63 days, not just the 21 days we’ve been told. Therefore, working on your mindset consistently is key!
Are you ready to change your brain to change your life?
Discover how to break limiting beliefs, stop self-sabotage, and unlock your full potential by rewiring your brain using neuroscience coaching and faith-based principles. Come join my program Unstick Your Mind today!