Emotional Healing for Breakthrough

In life hard things happen. There are little scars that leave a mark in our souls. Emotions, especially broken emotions, don’t have an expiry date. These soul wounds can be carried for years.

It’s our responsibility to go into these wounds, allow Jesus to heal them, and then renew our minds. 

I have worked with many different people from celebrities, to millionaires, to ordinary parents. What I learnt is your bank balance is not an indication of your happiness or your success.

A lot of people are still emotionally stuck on things that happened when they were younger. This is why I’m such a big proponent of emotional healing, especially when you are in leadership. 

You cannot lead people until you have done the hard inner work, renewed your mind and walked into the space where you are healed enough to help other people. 

It’s really about an attitude of servanthood. If we want to serve others in the best ways that we can, then we need to get rid of the junk in our trunk.

If we have a wound from when you were a child, or a bad relationship, it’s your duty and responsibility to go to the Lord and allow Him to heal you.

Unforgiveness is a huge thing and it has been related to weight gain, relationship and mental health issues.

God ultimately wants us to be healed in mind, body, and soul. If you have mental blockages, they can really hold you back from living in your full potential. 

Many times the Bible talks to us about renewing our minds. In Philippians 4 we read about thinking of good things, resting in the Lord, not worrying and putting things at Jesus’s feet.

Philippians 4: 4-9

“4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

A great tip I would offer people is just sit with the Holy spirit and ask, “Lord, highlight to me the areas that I need to clean out”.  This can be painful and uncomfortable, but the Holy Spirit will come and He will guide you in this process. 

During coaching sessions, I often ask people about their home environments. For example, do they have lots of areas that are disorganized? I understand that not all of us have a type A personality, but there is a level of disorganization in our homes that can be sign of deeper internal struggles.

There are TV programs where they go in and clean up or organize homes. At first we think it’s about de-cluttering stuff, but often their hoarding issues are linked to emotional issues.

Once people are able to let go of physical clutter, they cry letting it go, but the relief and weight that is lifted off their shoulders is visible. What really happens is that by cleaning out closets, they are letting go of that emotional memory. The transformation is beautiful to see and the process is much needed. 

As humans, we have this emotional memory storage capacity. According to God’s Word, our burden should be light. That is why Jesus went to the cross for us so that we can hand the heavy things over to Him.

Once you open up, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable, but once you crack it open the freedom starts flowing. When you have that feeling of relief, and have unburdened yourself, your whole countenance changes.

Using God’s Word is very important. Using a technique like journaling, you can document and process your feelings. It might feel patronizing to write “dear diary”, but doing a “brain dump” and getting your thoughts onto paper is very therapeutic.

It’s actually a very good psychological tool to use where you offload your thoughts. If you can’t sleep at night, what are you marinating and stewing over that is keeping you awake? Keep a notepad next to your bed, write it down and say:

Lord, I’m committing these things to you. I need to have a good night’s sleep. I pray that you protect me as I sleep and renew my body. As I am asleep, all of these issues that are worrying me, they’re not mine to keep. So I’m laying them at your feet and tomorrow we’ll deal with them.

Often times, God will deal with the issues while you sleep. He knows what is going on within you. He is the master surgeon. He can do heart surgery on you while you are sleeping. But it’s all about saying yes to God! Partnering with Him and reading what He says in His Word is vital for complete healing.

If you have a problem with worrying, then look up the scriptures that talk about worry, then speak them out loud. Using your words spoken audibly interrupts the internal negative tape that goes on in your mind.

We have this very critical person who can be real nasty sometimes. Think about it, if you had to speak like that to another person, they would be shocked and horrified! So don’t talk to yourself that way.

We need to override our old pattern of thinking by interrupting it with scripture. I would challenge you to recite the scriptures of the issues you have a problem with, like for example fear. When you speak it out loud, you are announcing to the world, yourself and you subconscious.

2 Timothy 1:7 “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.”

I’m saying it, I’m declaring God has made me a righteous child, and I have the rights through him to declare that. 

That is your identity as a child of God. You have the right to peace. You have the right to wholeness. You have the right to have your mind made over. 

You can live in abundance and peace!

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As a Mindset Coach I’m here to help you shift your thinking and unlock your full potential! If you’re needing support, encouragement and accountability; consider joining my group coaching program Unstick Your Mind.


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There are these things that develop, these little scars in our soul, our soul wounds that can be carried for years. Because here’s the thing, emotion, especially broken emotions, don’t have an expiry date. They don’t say, “Okay, when you were eight years old, this happened, this traumatic thing happened and the way you felt then, you think that you’re just going to get over it.” Your emotions have memory, even when you’re 28. When you think about that and you can tell your body has a visceral reaction. If you think about something traumatic that happens and you feel… It’s like your emotions bring you way back to the way it felt when you went through that. And that’s why I think it’s so important, in order for us to renew our mind like the Lord says in His word, we have to renew our mind.
We have to also go and heal our hearts, and that’s where we have to invite Jesus into the picture as you know. I might not even know this. It’s like a cave. Crevices and nooks and crannies and these hidden little pieces that are triggers that perhaps… I have anger issues because of growing up in an environment where anger was the only thing that we learned, and now it’s almost like a tripwire. No matter what you get triggered and you’re like, “Oh, why did I do that again?” There’s a lot of things that we need to look at and consider that, what part of my mindset is being affected by old habits, or just reactions that I developed when I was younger? Because I’ve worked with… I do leadership and mentoring and coaching, and I’ve worked with millionaires and I’ve worked with celebrities, and I’ve worked with the ordinary moms and pop stores, and I’ve worked with stay-at-home moms and I can tell you, your bank balance is not an indication of your happiness or your success.
So many people are still emotionally stuck on things that happened when they were younger, and that’s why I’m such a big proponent on doing emotional healing on top of leadership. You cannot go and lead people until you have done the work and renewed your mind, and walked into the space where you are healed enough to help other people. Because we have a huge and important job to do, no matter what area or sphere of society. Whether you’re a minister or you’re a stay-at-home mom or you’re a business owner, God has destined for each of us to serve people in the way that only we can, because our story is unique to us. That’s what makes us different to anybody else, is the way that we’ve grown up and seen life, and how we can work through they’re things and get maturity, will enable us to help others.
So for me, it’s really about an attitude of servanthood. If I want to serve others the best that I can, I need to get rid of the junk in my trunk. If I’ve got something from when I was a kid or a bad relationship that went bad, it’s my duty and responsibility to go to the Lord and say, “Okay, Lord, take it away. Let’s clean out house. Let’s spring clean. Let’s let go.” Especially, unforgiveness is a huge thing. And unforgiveness has also been related to weight gain. A lot of women who’ve had very bad emotional issues, the body is a memory of emotions. It all goes together. And I think that’s why God wants us to be healed, mind, body, and soul. It’s not just… Somebody says to me, “Well, how do you get more fit in your exercise routine?” Well, first of all we have to think about how you feel and your attitude to exercise. If you hate it, and you had a bad experience, no matter how many exercise routines, or even with diet, no matter how many diets you go on, if you have a mental issue that is a blockage that’s holding you back, you can learn as many of them as you can, but there’s just going to be something that stops you from getting that transformation.
It’s so important. As it says, where the mind goes, the man or the woman follows. And that’s why God talks about it so many, many times in the Bible about renewing your mind. Like, think of good things, and rest in the Lord and not worry and put all those things at Jesus’s feet and say, “I can’t carry this anymore. Help me fix my mind.”
So a great tool I would offer people is, just sit with the Holy Spirit and say, “Lord, highlight to me areas that I know I need to clean out. Let’s do some spring cleaning of the mind. Let’s make over our minds,” which means you’re going to go through the junk, right? Which can be a little painful and very uncomfortable. But just like when you’re cleaning out your closets, that feeling of relief, it’s just like a weight off your shoulders when you are able to sort through the stuff, get rid of the things you don’t need, reorganize the things that you do, and realize that you are in control of your mental, emotional, and physical space.
A good indication… I can always… When I ask other people, I say, “How are you in your home environment? Do you have lots of areas that are very disorganized?” Not to say that everybody has to be Type A because I’m definitely not Type A, but I know when it’s time to clean up. But your physical environment is a very good indication of your internal struggle. So if you really find like say filing or, I don’t know, pick anything, it often comes from not your lack of motivation, but perhaps some things that are internal we need to be able to prepare to let go.
Okay, have you ever watched those programs, Hoarders? Have you ever heard… I’m sure you’ve seen those ones when you know they go through like, oh, they’re going to clean their house. You often see that what is… A correlating factor through all the people they interview is they have to help them deal with their emotional issues. Only once they’re able to let go… And oftentimes there’s crying and tears, and you think, how is it that this issue related back to when I was a kid is going to help me clean my house? I know, it’s weird, but it is. As humans, we have this emotional memory that we carry on. And that’s what in God’s word it says, His burden is light. We don’t have to carry it. It’s not our duty to carry it. That’s why Jesus went to the cross for us, so we could say, “Hey, here’s my junk. Here’s money. I don’t need it. I’m donating it to you. You’re welcome to do whatever you want with it. I don’t need anymore. It’s not servicing me.” But oftentimes it has to start with that awareness.
So, my encouragement to everyone today would be to just pray and say, ask the Lord to really open your mind, to give you the eyes to see and the ears to hear, and to really sit and say, “What is the deep, deep, hard work we need to do? Because I can guarantee you, once you open up, and yes, I can tell you it’s going to probably be painful and uncomfortable. But it’s like, once you crack it open and it starts flowing, it starts to get so liberating when you have that feeling of relief, of when you know that you’ve unburdened yourself and you’re able to use the word. It’s not just… If you don’t have anyone as a support network, even just journaling your feelings. I know that sounds petulant. Like, “Dear Diary, you won’t believe what so-and-so said!”
That’s actually a very good psychological tool to use, is just to offload your thoughts. What is bothering you? If you can’t sleep at night, what are you marinating and stewing over that keeps you awake? Just keep a notepad next to your bed, write it down and say, “Lord, I’m committing these things to you. I need to have a good night’s sleep. I pray that you protect me as I sleep. Renew my body as I sleep. But all of these issues that are worrying me, they are not mine to keep. I’m laying them at your feet and tomorrow we’ll deal with them.” You know? And sometimes God will deal with them while you sleep. He knows. He’s the master surgeon. He can do heart surgery on you while you’re sleeping. But it’s all about saying yes to God, partnering with him and saying, “What does your word say about this?” If you have a problem with worry, look up the scriptures that about worry, and then speak them out loud. Because you know, all of us have this internal tape that goes on in our mind, and sometimes we have this very critical person who can be real nasty sometimes. But if you had to speak like that to people you know, they would be shocked and horrified.
So sometimes we need to override our old pattern thinking by actually interrupting it with sound. So I would challenge you as well to just recite those scriptures out loud. If you have a problem, like an issue with fear, like… I have them on my phone, on my iPhone and if I find a scripture that is… Whether I feel like it or not, I’ll say… I’m just going to read these out. So I’m announcing to the world, like in myself, my subconscious said, “God’s not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. And I’m saying it! I’m declaring it! God has made me a righteous child and I have the rights, through Him, to declare that.” So that is your identity. Your identity as a child of God is you have the rights to peace. You have the rights to wholeness. You have the rights to have your mind made over so you can live in abundance and peace.
I’m very interested in neuroscience and how the brain works and habits, and how we can change our behavior. I grew up as a classically trained ballet dancer. You know, tutus and points. And when you learned something you get this muscle memory built in you, and there’s certain things in being a dancer that you learn, like poise and how you hold yourself. But one day my oldest daughter went to a birthday party at the rink. And I was like, “Oh, this is so cool.” And I was wobbly but once I started moving, I was like, “Okay, I’m kind of coordinated. I think I can do this.” Just that feeling of… You know what? I never learned to skate because I grew up in South Africa and ice skating is not a thing there. There’s no rinks. I used to watch it on TV and love it and think, one day I’ll be a skater. But by the time I had kids at 30, I was like, ugh, that’s never going to happen.
But then I had the opportunity, I challenged myself. I was like, “You know what? You’ve always wanted to do this. Why don’t you just try?” So at the age of 33 I decided I was going to take lessons. That’s been 10 years now and I’m dating myself. But it’s been a process because what I’ve had to do is I’ve had to overcome the fear of falling. And as adults, we overthink everything. It’s like, well, if I do this, is that going to look good? I don’t want to look like an idiot. I’m going to be like, ugh. Obviously at first when I did it, I’m sure I looked really lame, because my kids were like, “Ugh.” Insert eye-roll. “Like, really mom, are you seriously going to wear a leotard on the ice. Do I have to come and watch you?”
But I just pressed on and I had been working with a coach. Every week I show up, we had that accountability, which I think is also important when you want growth, is to have somebody who’s going to push you and you be accountable to help you grow and say, “Hey! I know you’re not feeling like it, but get your butt on the ice. Stop complaining.”
And slowly but surely, part of it is like, as a child you’re learning and you are imprinting habits, you’re creating that muscle memory. But as an adult, I have proven that you can teach an old dog new tricks because I’ve had to learn to undo that muscle memory. So as an example, when you’re a ballet dancer you got to pull your shoulders back and hold your arms up to have that core strength. When you’re on the ice, if you do that you will fall. You will fall over and kiss the ice. It’s a little dangerous. So you have to learn to bend and lean in. So to me, I’m constantly fighting. My body wants to look good. And I’m like, “Nope, you got to do this way.” And it’s only through repetition, and doing it over and over and over again… Because I decided really that this is what I wanted to do, and even though my body was fighting me, I had to keep trying and trying.
And you know, it’s been a longer process than it would have been when I was 10. Because when you’re 10 you don’t mind falling. When you hit the floor it’s not as painful than when you’re 40-something. Your recovery is a lot slower when you’re older. But, the joys of being able to overcome even the thought process of how I hold myself, and how I do things… It took a few years to really get to the stage. I went through a process of doing the tests, which, who likes to do tests? But now I’m actually competing and I take part in the amateur circuit and I’ve won a few medals and things like that. But it’s not to say I’m perfect. I definitely have a long way to go. But just being consistent. Once you decide that this is something you want to do, there is a way. You know, where there’s a will, there’s a way. You can definitely do it, no matter whether you want to start at line dancing, or you want to do horse riding, or you want to learn to sing or play guitar, don’t put limitations on yourself, because once you put your mind to something and you make that decision, you can really do anything.
And then, when you’re partnered with the extra special sauce that we have through the Holy Spirit, well then you are on fire. You have the internal combustion engine that drives you and knows that you can do all things through Christ. Think about what you’re thinking about, and really make the decision about where you want to go because you really are in the driver’s seat, that if you don’t, if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, make the decision today that you are going to change.
Now, of course, we’re getting into the new year and this is typical of what people do as New Year’s resolutions. But let’s make this something that you’re actually going to do. Because trying to rely on your own strength will only take you so far, but partnering with God and saying, “Okay, God, what have you designed me to be? What have you planned for me to do?” And it doesn’t necessarily have to be something ethereal, or something so far out there. Sometimes it’s just about, He wants you to do one thing. Like, “I just want you to go for a 10 minute walk.” Sometimes it’s that small, because it’s more about compound interest than it is this huge, big, like, we don’t have to go throw in the baby with the bath water, and quit your job and move country and whatever else. I’ve done that twice but I wouldn’t advise it. But I would definitely say, pressing into what God has for you because we’re all unique. God has a different plan.
But also to be at peace with the seasons. Because if you look at nature, God never expects us to stay in summer all the time. We have to have the different seasons. And even if you feel you’re in a winter season, winter is when you germinate. If you think about it, you don’t see any trees and there’s no growth and it feels like nothing’s growing anywhere. But the winter season in the wilderness is actually the most productive, because that’s when you can lay things down, God plants seeds. He ends… If you think about how a seed germinates underground, it’s dark, it’s muddy, it’s dirty. No one can see what’s going on. But it needs that time to germinate and to really reform itself, so that when the season comes and then God says, “Okay, now you’re ready. Now I want you to step up.” So embrace it, embrace whatever boot camp season you’re in because all of it comes with challenges. But I would just say press onto the prize, and really partner with God and ask him, what does he have for you today, tomorrow? And don’t even worry about next year. Just find out what’s on his heart.
And another thing I always say, and this is also something us parents can do that… I’ve learned to pray for my kids, is, “Lord, show me how you see them. Show me how you see their potential.” If you think about how many parents that we’ve heard that have pushed against society. Even Beethoven’s mom, they told him he was deaf and dumb and she’s like, “Uh-uh (negative). Not on my watch.” So she homeschooled him and we all know him now as this famous musician. If we can just be those advocates for ourselves and those that are within our circle and just say, “Let’s partner with God and decide what He wants to do, and what timing He wants us to release it in. I’d definitely say those would be my big takeaways.
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